Doubts & Insecurities
by iwha
Summary: "I don't care if she's still in love with him. I don't care if she will never love me as much as I love her. All I cared about now is that she's here with me. Not him. Not anybody." Re-written. 1886 fic slight 2786.


**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything. If I did, 1886 would be canon. HIBAHARU FTW! XDD

**Author's Note**: the story's been re-edited. i give big thanks to Neospice12 for re-checking and editing some parts of the story. anyways, i'm also doing the same with my other fic.

I want to thank the following:

Spirit kagome - thank you for being the first one to review my story. XD

Neospice12 - I've already told you and I also hope when chidoriochibi (I just found out it's actually her name here in FF) reads this, she'd be pleased.

kawaiinekochan16 - Really? I thought Hibari & Haru are uncharacteristic here. Thanks for the review.

And now, on with the story.

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><p><strong>Normal POV<strong>

The sun rose up for dawn to come. In a certain room, in a certain place, there lies a couple in a bed. Both are unsure of what the other felt for each other due to insecurities and doubts that cloud in their minds and heart. The feelings that are never spoken nor known of the other, will it be said across? Or will it just be not known for the rest of their lives?

**Haru's POV**

I woke up, but I didn't do anything but snuggle closer to Kyouya-kun. I held on him like there's no tomorrow. I know it's a bit childish on my part but, I know that he may slip away like the clouds he represents. He'll go away from me. Away from my reach, away from my sight; I don't want that! I don't want to lose him. I love him so much. I never thought I'd love someone like this after Tsuna-san. No. I love him more than I've ever loved Tsuna-san.

I can't recall when I starting to love him, but I certainly know why. I've always admired his dedication towards his goals and to have Namimori be safe for its citizens, young and old alike even before I've met Tsuna-san and the others. He once saved me from a pervert once. I don't know if he remembers that or not. I was about to thank him when he said, "_You're disturbing the peace of Namimori, for that you must be bitten to death._" After that I never saw him again. I was 12 that time, doing an errand for my father. I didn't know his name nor did I see his face. All I see is his back facing me. That memory faded in my mind as years pass by. And then I saw and met Tsuna-san and the others. I felt happy.

Back to the present, I don't how he felt about me. Yes, we are together, but I still don't know. No one knows of our relationship, maybe except Reborn-chan or Dino-san. Sometimes I wonder why we are together. I know I love him, that much is true, but on his part, I don't know. It's alright though, he's with me now and not with anybody else, just me and him. I felt my tears threatening to overflow in my eyes. I feel so helpless. I couldn't even look at him.

I felt him hug me closer and tighter. I gasped and uttered his name in surprise. He didn't say anything. He just buried his face in my hair and inhaled deeply. I silently cried in his arms. A few minutes later, he let go of me and slowly got up. I just laid there on the bed with my eyes shut tightly, my tears just kept on flowing. I don't know why though, but I just kept my eyes tightly shut letting the memories of last night and the warmth he gave linger on in both my mind and body. Suddenly, I felt his hand touch my face, and wipe my tears away. I'm surprised; I never thought he'd do that. I just lay there looking at him with my eyes wide-open. He kissed my forehead and murmured the words I've longed to hear from him so softly that I almost didn't hear it. He kissed me again, stood up and left quietly like a ghost. I cried again. This time, not of sadness but of relief, because now I know how he felt. I smiled and scooted over to his side of the bed and whispered, "_I love you too."_

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><p><strong>Hibari's POV<strong>

I'm already awake when I felt her snuggled towards me. I smiled but I didn't move nor did I say anything. I just lay there motionless like I couldn't care any less, but inside in my mind and heart I'm happy but at the same time having my doubts. I know that she still loves that herbivore. I'm not stupid nor am I dense. I could tell. I'm just a mere replacement to her and it hurts a lot. Not that I show it to anyone. No one knows about this except that annoying Bronco and that baby, no, that man. Bronco kept pestering me about Haru ever since he figured out I fancy her. I swear that one of these days I'm going to bite him to oblivion for annoying the heck out of me. That baby on the other hand, simply knows. Hn. I should ask that baby for a match when I get the chance.

Back to the topic at hand, I don't exactly remember when I started falling for her nor the reason as to why. When I saw crying that one time, I felt something I've never felt before, love. I didn't know at first; I had a hard time figuring it all out. I remember when that annoying Bronco burst in my office at the foundation one day.

_Flashback_

"_Yo Kyouya! How have you been? "Dino asked with a smile as he slammed the door to open loudly. Hibari saw this and an eyebrow twitched. "Bronco, if you're here to be annoying as usual, go away. Or I'll bite you to death." Hibari said as he stood up from his desk with his tonfas showing."Ahahahaha! You're as grumpy as ever huh? You know, you won't get the girl of your dreams with that attitude." Dino said serious for once. "Hn." Hibari said as he glared ominously a t Dino. The bronco just laughed nervously. "Say, I need to talk with you for a moment. Don't worry, it won't take long." Dino asked Hibari. Hibari, contemplating whether or not he should join Bronco, decided to just tag along with Dino. "Alright, fine. As long as it does not involve your wife and kids, do you understood?" Hibari said and to emphasis what he meant he aimed his right tonfa on Dino's neck._

"_Y-Yeah, sure, sure. Whatever you say." Dino said, visibly scared. Dino is happily married and has twins, both boys, at the age of 3. He usually brag about how they are the cutest thing you've ever seen and his wife as the most beautiful woman in the world (according to him anyway). Don't get him wrong, Dino's not that of a narcissist. He is probably in the same boat as Iemitsu and Nana, Vongola Decimo's parents. Both men settled down at the garden drinking tea. Well, only Hibari did while Dino just sat and stared into space. Hibari smacked him in the head. "Baka! I thought you said it's very important. What is it? I'm very busy as of the moment." Hibari said. Dino chuckled and said to him seriously. "You know Kyouya, when you loved someone, be it requited or not, you know you'd do anything for them. If the love is unrequited, you do your best to have that dream turn into reality. And then if so the love is requited, you'd do everything in your power for your love to be recognized and lastly, to last." Hibari just stared blankly at him, and then proceeded to bite Dino to death and kicked him out of his office. After kicking Dino out, he took out a photo from the drawer in his desk and stared at it for a long time. "Sigh. I don't have time for this. Stupid Bronco." He said and then shook his head. Giving the photo one last look, he sighed heavily and took the photo back to his drawer. "Kusakabe. I'm going out for a patrol. Cancel my entire schedule for the day." "Yes Kyou-san." "Hn." With that, he took off to god knows where._

_End of Flashback_

Now that I've thought about it, that Bronco somehow made sense. I opened my eyes and looked at her. I could feel her crying even if she didn't show her face to me. She must be thinking of that damn herbivore again. I just held on her tightly. I don't want to lose her. She gasped and said my name in surprise. I just buried my face in her hair, letting the smell of faint vanilla in my nostrils. I want to remember how she smells and the warmth of her embrace, even if it's just temporary. I don't care if she's still in love with him. I don't care if she will never love me as much as I love her. All I cared about now is that she's here with me. Not him. Not anybody. Just I and she, right here, right now. She up and entered my life without knowing she'd change me. I'm not like this. I never knew I'd succumb to such herbivorous feelings like love. She changed me. A person who's always alone, a person who everyone feared and awed but never approached due to my violent nature. But after all that, she came and changed me. For better or worse I do not know, nor do I care to find out. I loosen my hold and slowly get up. I didn't look back at her. I dressed up in my suit as quickly and as silently as possible. As straighten up my tie, I heard a sob. It was so soft that I thought I was imagining it. I turned around, and there in the bed, she's crying. I was shocked. She's crying but I don't know why. I walked near her as silently as I could. She seemed as though she's trying her hardest not to cry in front of me. My gaze softened and I wiped away her tears. She opened her eyes in surprise. I leaned closer and kissed her forehead. I said the words that I've longed to say to her. I kissed her again and left. I do not need for her to tell me her feelings. I already know now, because through her tears, I felt reassured that she is mine, as I am to her.

**Normal POV**

As the man left the room, the woman clutched the pillow on his side of the bed as if he's still there and smiled while crying. As she drifted off to sleep, she uttered the words no longer needed to be known. As the man already knew and their hearts' insecurities and doubts vanished.

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><p>I tried my best. Still, i think I fail(?) Comments andor flames are welcome but you should know that I'll use the flames for eating yakiniku. AH~ free flame~ XDDD

This is the art from kreuz4eva that inspired me.

art / HibaHaru - California - King - Bed - 252261978?q = gallery % 3Akreuz4eva% 2F5181727&qo = 18

just erase the spaces in between and replace .ok?

yuyu-chin93 signing out~


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